A New Beginning

2 years has passed yet it only felt like yesterday my world was perfect and today everything is just crumbling all around me. A new year, a new job, new friends and a new beginning for me.

This year has by far been the most unpredictable, scary and exhilarating roller coaster i have ever been on. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows i end up here... still alive... still living..

Right now i feel so alone because everything i ever knew is gone. There's a void in my life that can't be filled anytime soon. In my previous blog entries it mentions.. a boy stole a piece of my heart and that if that person was to leave there would be a hole in my heart and i would die.. obviously i did not die because i'm writing this, but a piece of me did die. I'm not the same person i was two years ago and i'm actually not sure whether i changed for the good.

I feel that i have grown tremendously, i am no longer a "child". Things are rapidly changing and i know it's part of growing but i still find it so damn hard. Getting used to being an adult is harder than i ever imagined, i thought that after year 12 my life would just be perfect, oh how i regret wishing 2009 would end fast.

baby boy i love you sooo much! i miss you soo much! i miss us! i miss your kisses.. i miss your touches...i miss our talks... i miss your hugs.. but most of all i miss hearing you say "i love you" what i wouldn't give to be able to turn back time and just cherish all of those precious momments i spent with you, because those momments are the only time i am most happiest!

Always and Forever sweety..