HE'S MY WORLD

Emptiness

2010-12-16T04:45:00.000-08:00

I feel sooo hollow!

months has passed of me numbing my pain and it hasn't been until recently that i feel the hollowness, the emptiness that i feel in my heart. I never knew how much a person could affect me. Loosing him was not only loosing a boyfriend it was like loosing a partner, a best friend and a lover. He was there for me when i fell and was there to always pick me up, seeing here like seeing a stranger just breaks my heart. We used to be the closest of friends but now we walk pass each other like we're just two random people walking in the streets.

We shares soo many laughters and tears, he made me laugh, he made me cry and most of the time he made me angry but at the end of the day i gaze at his eyes and know that no matter how much we were fighting he would always be there for me.

There is no way i can describe how much i miss him, i have been numbing my heartache with all sorts of things and only now do i feel that these methods have not healed me but they have damaged me more. If only i can turn back time i would, i may have new friends and not to say i am not happy now but i was far more at home two years ago then i am now.

Growing up is a bitch and i am stuck here in the middle which sucks.. for the time being, i hope i can move on with my life but right now i can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, i may look back on these old post saying "how silly of me to say all of these things!" but right now i wish i can just sleep and live through my past memories which was oh so dear to me.

A New Beginning

2010-12-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

2 years has passed yet it only felt like yesterday my world was perfect and today everything is just crumbling all around me. A new year, a new job, new friends and a new beginning for me.

This year has by far been the most unpredictable, scary and exhilarating roller coaster i have ever been on. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows i end up here... still alive... still living..

Right now i feel so alone because everything i ever knew is gone. There's a void in my life that can't be filled anytime soon. In my previous blog entries it mentions.. a boy stole a piece of my heart and that if that person was to leave there would be a hole in my heart and i would die.. obviously i did not die because i'm writing this, but a piece of me did die. I'm not the same person i was two years ago and i'm actually not sure whether i changed for the good.

I feel that i have grown tremendously, i am no longer a "child". Things are rapidly changing and i know it's part of growing but i still find it so damn hard. Getting used to being an adult is harder than i ever imagined, i thought that after year 12 my life would just be perfect, oh how i regret wishing 2009 would end fast.

baby boy i love you sooo much! i miss you soo much! i miss us! i miss your kisses.. i miss your touches...i miss our talks... i miss your hugs.. but most of all i miss hearing you say "i love you" what i wouldn't give to be able to turn back time and just cherish all of those precious momments i spent with you, because those momments are the only time i am most happiest!

Always and Forever sweety..

Boring Day!

2009-05-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

sooo today i had my history exam...which in my opinion was easy.... but then again i shouldn't jinx it incase i frikin FAIL the whole thing!!

hmmmm ... atm im soo bored and what better way to entertain me?

CUP BEATING!!

you may wonder what cup beating is!?!

(<<<

i'm also obsessed with BUBBI! lol abit stalkish there CLAUDIA! but she's this chick on youtube who's like a beauty guru and she's mega awsome! and if anyone is ever in need of fashion, makeup or beauty tips just go on her website http://www.bubzbeauty.com/ and browse through her vid's :D

well it's kinda late now and i should really sleep zzZZZ coz 2morrow must wake up early to jog if i wanna lose weight and become as skinny as BUBBI! hehehe ^^

GOODNIGHT LOVELIES <3

SOOO LONG!

2009-05-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

OMG! i haven't blogged in sooooo long.... but my baby just reminded me that my account still exited LOL!

hmm this blog is gunna b short coz i have frikin exams in 2 hours!!!! ARGHHHHHHH

nyways i just wanted 2 say my life IN 2009 has bit soo shitty!!! i hate yr 12 and i hate everything about this year! everything is sooo stressful and all my frens are leaving me 2 go 2 a uni prep course T_T honestly i wished i could turn back time and re-live my wonderful year... 2008!! it was the best year of my life... shopping, playing, partying, drinking, the year i met my baby, and EVERYTHING!!! can't wait for this year 2 end GRRRRR!!!!!!

HAPPY 6 MONTHS BABY

2008-10-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

YAY omg i can't believe that it's been 6 months already!! time goes heaps fast when you're having fun aye!! sweety i just want to say that you are my prince charming and im sooo glad that i found you hehehe... honestly you are the most amazing guy a girl could ever ask for i love you with ALL my heart...i don't think i have to say much to let you know how much i care about you...coz i'm sure you already know :D

I LOVE YOU JACO COETZER <3

ALWAYS AND FOREVER ...

I Will NEVER 4get This Night

2008-07-09T05:05:00.000-07:00

Jaco my dear..you mean the world to me!! i love you with ALL my heart and i hope you do to!

I will never ever 4get this day no matter what!! BABY ur sooo special 2 me :D

Love YOU Alwayz and Forever xoxo

Dunno Wot i'd Do if I Aint got YOU

2008-06-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

lalalalalalalala i'm soo bored ryt now bleh...

aha sooo 2day i got my chem n physics exams back HoLy MoTher FoOker... >.< anywayz i failed them T_T sigh...well there's always nxt semester ryt!?!

so 2 other news, 1st day of "real" skool...shyt assss coz lyk it was cold and raining and since i take the bus 2 and from skool i got wet (aha not in a good way...nothing SUSS).. HAHAHA me met baby at the traino and it was sooooooo sweet coz coz he woke up early just for me (I seriously sumtyms think that i dnt deserve such an awsome guy ^^) hehe skool was sooooo boring Y_Y english was gay, chem was alright, CnE was meh, then Physics n intro was alright...H.B woah SOOOOOO BORINGGGGG almost fell asleep but i got 84% for my validation test altho Mitch did beat me poo u smarty pants!!!

after skool melissa made the most funniest comment bout Miss N... HAHAHA

Mellissa- Is that Miss N's mum?
Me- i dnt think so aye
Mellissa- I bet You it is!!

Miss N running towards the lady

Mellissa- I TOLD YOU !!
Me- HAHAHAHA yea...y she not wearing stockings?
Mellissa- aha coz she strong..yeah she wants to show every1 she's strong...well she is coz of her...uhhmmmm fat >.<
Me n Ivy- HAHAHAHA
Me- HAHAHA yeah LIPIDS!!!!

anywayz... met up wid baby at the traino...and Mina iz soo funny aye..i swear if he had long hair he'd look damn pretty XD HAHAHAHA sigh soo me n baby had a really WRONG convo in da bus involving me n Jay chou HAHAHAHA i shant say wot but yeeeee it was really WRONG WRONG WRONG hahaha well must go practice ZE piano ciao xxx

Sexy Day

2008-06-12T05:31:00.000-07:00

aha it wasn't really sexy..just the pplz i went waz hehe expecially baby :p

morning woke up REALLY late...cleaned my room...watch tv...ate lunch wid mummy

then at 12 Klay piked me up then we went 2 city 2 meet JACO baby <3>

SEXY bitches

My LOVE

Me da MAN >.<

lol after NEOPRINTS klay took us 2 places we've neva been 2 which was sooo awsome...hehe uhhmmmm there was this place called Geeks + Freaks, and this Anime place which was really kool must go there again sumday aha and then we went to this store where they sold bongs n shyt hihihih fun fun anywayz...

dorve back 2 KFC and then vid eazy... stoned for a while lookin lyk a hobo and baby sed sumthing that pissed me off

klay-"Whos this?"
Me- "elain"
klay- "This one?"
Me- "Sam"
Klay- "Who's the Hot one?"
Me- "CLAUDIA!"
Jaco- "ANIGE i mean and Claudia"

WTF man HAHAHAH then i got pissy but i still love you hahahaha xxxxx
overall me had an awsome day but me tiered now and sad coz baby iz sick...feel betta soon kk hun LOVE YOU

THE SWEETEST BOY

2008-06-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

so there's this boy ryt..who recently came in2 my life..and to be honest with you i had NO idea that there was a hole in my heart that needed to be filled until he came in and filled it!!

hmmm so this boy is sweet, charming, cute and such a caring person...he would visit me every morning at the train station even though he dosn't have skool and get this..he buys me hot chocolate after i CLEARLY told him not to!! aha but deep down inside u know i want that hot chocolate aye aha (trying 2 fatten me up!!) words really can't describe how i feel about you, coz it's just like sum1 asking me what water tastes like!

i know this is such a cliche but "I LOVE YOU" is really not enough to say how much i care about you! DID YOU KNOW in the start i would miss being a week without you, and then it became days, then hours, then minutes and now seconds...the momments i spend without you feels lyk there's sumthing missing...like a part of me is missing! baby i really think that you're the first boy i've truly loved...i would seriously take a bullet for you...i would cusion ur fall (lol), i would do anything for you (maybe not sex HAHAHAA)

you're last blog post was sooo sweet..so sweet it made me cry!! hihi tears of JOY :P and plz dnt be jelouse if i talk 2 other guyz..i'm yours and yours only! and like i'm the one who should be worried about u talking to other girls i mean 4 sum reason you would say sumthing or do sumthing that's incredibly funny lyk touch their GOOCH!!! mm funny 2 others but 2 me it infureates me!! hehehe everytime you say her name, my heart sinks coz i know you guyz have a history and that everytime you talk about her even for just a second..she crosses your mind...i may be silly for thinking that but i'm scared that she'll steal you away from me, i fear that you'll get sick of me and leave me!!

so baby one last thing...no matter what you will ALWAYS be in my HEART...there will ALWAYS be a spot for you in my heart..coz if i ever for a second let you go...i'd die...coz lyk seriously...my heart would not function properly with a hole...i should know..i do HUMAN BIOLOGY!!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

explosion..BOOM

2008-05-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

grrrr me so stressed out..i fink every1 iz..exams in lyk 3dayz nooo i need more time to study coz in my calculations i need to get 80% for ALL my subjects to get a B for my semster report which is lyk SHYYTTTT!!!! bahhhhhhh well i kinda gave up on physics tho coz i seriously don't get it but whatever lah... THINK POSITIVE CLAUDIA!!!

anywayz can't wait till exams are over coz after that we're gonna chillax at school coz apparently mitchell said that's illeagle for teachers to teach us new things so we're just probs gonna watch movies in all the classes yeah ^^ aha and then in wk 10 we have CAMP!!! YAY

:] i lyk soooo can't wait to go aye!! even tho it's camp 1 i dnt give aha coz i'll be wiv da pplz i LOVE :D

me trying to study but failing soo misserable coz i miss my baby 2 much :[ that's kinda bad aint it? i mean i can't stop thinking about him, day dreaming about him...sigh me 2 clingy aye...hmm can't help it >.< can't wait till skool holz man coz i know that this holz gonna be da bomb diggity :) oh yeah and can't wait for that "someones" b'day coz i know it'll be awsome!!

1st but not the last :D

2008-05-30T05:03:00.000-07:00

so 2day was lyk the first "real" date we had since lyk 4eva!!
aha coz lyk usually when we go out 10 other pplz are there so it's lyk not really a date...
anywayz went 2 murdoch n met him there then we bussed to garbo...watched What Happens in Vages which was alright aha n apparently jaco was drooling over cameron diaz coz half the time she was in her undies!! mmm then afterwards we ate lunch...mmm nachos..then we walked around and around garbo trying 2 find sumthing fun 2 do..then we got soo bored so we decided to go home...sigh aha anywayz it was pretty funy while we waz waiting in bus stop but i shant say why HAHAHAHA anywayz thanx baby for a wonderful day and hope we can go out soon..possibly after the STOOPID EXAMS!!

My Baby <3

last holz..aha fun tyms

me looky lyk a man but oh wellz

this BITCH is going DOWN

2008-05-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

omg i have the most funny story lyk EVER!!

there's this chick ryt who is lyk my fucking role model i mean damn she's like EVERYTHING i'm not...i mean i'm caring, loving, considerat and trustworthy...

anywayzzz... had this awsome guy who lyked her but she just kept on dissing him and even after he said he'd give his heart 2 her she just went of and fucked a couple of guys and it got 2 da point where he didn't want her no more tsk sad...ANYWAYZ that boi found sum1 else who was tottaly the opposite of her, so they got together and became BF n GF ^^ soo cute but this girl that kept dissin him and hurtIN him by fucking other guyz started 2 get jelouse (coz she relises no guy really wants to be with her unless it's for there own plessure and that the onli guy that actualy cared for her has moved on and found a better girl than her) so she started to do things that she thought would get to this guyz GF, she would flirt with him, persuaid him 2 dump her and even told his sister that she would make him way happier than his GF... pfft the sad thing is her EVIL plans didn't work and she relises that no guy would ever want a selfish bitch like her and the only guy that did , she took for granted...

anywayz dnt u just wish that you could be like her? i mean c'mon she's got such a great personality...and she's such a good frend i mean don't all your frends try 2 steal ur boyfriend away from you? sooo the real message to that story is THAT BOI IS MINE AND YOU SHOULD GO FUCK OFF...JUST COZ YOU CAN'T FIND A GUY WHO WANTS YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND NOT YOUR PUSSY DOSN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO FUCKING MESS WITH ME

and that's my story...soo good aint it^^

HAPPY DAY

2008-04-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

YAY sooo 2day i went 2 da movies wid Mandy, Jaco, Andie, Sinna and Raj^^
went 2 meet them all at macca's but onli mandy and raj waz der sooo we lyk wated for the rest 2 come..i got bored so i decided 2 get a thick shake which was really yucky *bleh*

after we walked 2 da movies and decided to watch "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" which was good but yeah..ehh so many scenes which were NOT suitable for children under 15 hihihi

after movies we all decided to go 2 city and me n sinna introduced da "non" asians to a beautiful place called UTOPIA :) lol it was funnay coz jaco and mandy didn't lyk da bubble tea and yeah anywaz me n sinna saw sooo many hawwt azn guyz!! one ov them kinda freaked out coz i lyk kept staring and him and then sinna did sumthing 2 scare him away..lol jks jks after our "BUBBLE TEA" momment we went timezone and took NEOPRINTS yay

best pplz eva hehehe

lol jaco is so not sexy...lol jks^^

after neoprints we all tried DDR and sinna was sooo good at it i almost fainted HAHAHAHA
anywayz sinna had 2 home early which left da 3 gurls and 2 retard guys lol (kiddin)..then we decided to go pot black where we all "attempted" to play pool...i think all da pplz in pot black were starring at us coz we sucked so much :S hehe

my mummy den had a spazzo attack at me coz she called me lyk 10 times n i didn't answer:S had dinner at KFC -.- made me feel sick bleh

then we trained back 2 murdoch...on da train MANDY n ANDIE were soo mean..they started teasing me n jaco :( just coz we're black -.- hehehe but then at the bus stop jaco waz being hell cute lawl hehehee but then mandy and andie had 2 ruin EVERYTHING by embarresing me!! hmmphphh..dropped andie home...BTW her house was soo nice and her parent was soooooooooo frickin NICE!!! they took us back 2 southlands where me, mandy and jaco waited for our mummy's to pick us up :)

OMG thanx so much for the fun day u guyz :D hope we can do this soon...oh yeah saturday YAY :) hehehe

IN2Chem

2008-04-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Omg 2day I hve a frikien chem test n my social life practically depends on it!! My gosh if I dnt do well I hve 2 kiss social life away T_T every1 plz pray that I shall do well in my test!!!

MIXED

2008-04-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

Had parent/teacher meeting 2day which went pretty bad..miss b n mr x sed I talk 2 much in class and that I dnt concentrate enough..a part of me is so pissed that they would say that but in reality that is quite true..wat made me sad tho was that my mum sed I could not hang out wid JE SAH SEC MAK no more :( she thinks they're a bad influence on me..wtf that's so not true..poo!!!

Well my mummy kinda cooled of already which is deff good coz I really wanna go 2 mitch n shars fairwell get together on friday and if she bans me from going I shall hang myself T_T....

Hope 2day is a better day, coz ryt now I'm really tiered of bad things happening 2 me n my frens :(

Tell Me Why!

2008-04-03T04:25:00.000-07:00

T_T ehh i really lyk him lyk alot but eek how can i? i mean i dnt even noe him..so why the fook do i lyk him soooo much?? plz tell me why!!

hmmm i've got one friend who has 2 guyz fighting for her attention
i have another friend who is a "Guy magnite"
i have another friend who can get what ever guy she wants
and there's me...ekk i'm lyk guy repelant..if u want guyz to stop hasseling you then just put me in front of them and they'll go away faster then a speeding bullet!!

20 good reasons

2008-04-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

GIRL MEETS BOY->GIRL LIKES BOY->GIRL FALLS FOR BOY->BOY BREAKS HER <3

y must i want something that can never be mine?hmm so sad...

Dear Boy,
they said love hurts, i wrote that book
i climbed that wall i had one look
but you just came around to say Hello
the streets were filled with guilty hearts
and here was i right from the start and i lost everything when i lost YOU...

so tell me why, should i let you go??
give me 20 good reasons to let you go...

TAKE IT OFF!!

2008-04-02T02:52:00.000-07:00

YAY i've been waiting for this day to come...today is the day i get my braces off!!!
omg i am extremely happy coz finally i dnt have 2 be scared when eating apples, or be worried that somthing will get stuck on my braces BEACUSE i don't have braces anymore!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

hehe anywayz...i got report back and i really didn't do well in physics and intro calc..i got lyk N.A which is so shyt man...ehhh pff oh wells...at least mum didn't get mad at me..:s but i'm so stressed out now coz my mum sed that i should drop physics but if i do that i can't become a doctor..and that's what i've always wanted to be since i was like 4...hmm how depressing...but she does has a point i mean if my brain is not smart enough to be a doctor then why force it right?..oh God please help me to do the right thing..i mean i put my life in your hands so if i wasn't meant to be a doctor then i shall exept it :(

K-K-COLD!!

2008-03-31T01:54:00.000-07:00

omg today was lyk sooo freezing!! i mean i littrally thought my frikin legs were gonna fall off!!
anywayz school was much happier today which was great considering the depressing weather and all^^

english- funny coz Kirsty, Kelly, Liz and both Sarah's were lyk having this huge debate with the teacher and Ms C was lyk an angry dragon at the end of it hehe

Chem- got my test results back... 31% meh good considering i guessed most of the questions ^^

CnE- BORING, icy towers was fun tho

Intro Calc- did ok coz Ivy was helping me, so cool coz there's like a major language barrior between us but still she manages to teach me intro calc :) oh yeah then shar-MiNgA decided to drop in at the end of the lesson hmmm....

Physics- OMG I HATE MR X he gave us a frikin suprise test i am SOOO SURE that i ACED it NOT! -.-

LUNCH WAS COLD!! oh yeah n angie iz crazy coz she ate ice-cream on a vewwy cold day! OOOO i saw shar's baby!!! i want!!!!! i want one mummy!!!! apparently my mum's gonna get me one i should be happy but i feel so guilty coz it's very expensive and considering that my mummy's a single parent she has 2 work hard to be able to give me what i want...omg i LOVE her so much :) me so lucky...i shall build her a mansion when i'm a rich and famous dermatologist!!!!

I WANT IT NOW!

2008-03-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

mg sharmaine has the cutest fone in the world so i'm going to dedicate this blog to her newest hiptop slide baby ^^

ok so her new baby is extremely adorable as i already mentioned before and it's extremely kool lolness..anywayz i am inlove for the first time!! her fone has many features which my fone CAN't do including msn, yahoo, UNLIMITED sms, myspacing, internal memory and a 2GB external memory and other stuff...besides the point apparently everyone in da us and europe has it to so i want it 2!! thanx alot sharmaine koh now i must have ur cute baby 2!! ok so if say my mother does not get me one in the next couple of weeks i will either chuck a BF or i will sneak into shar's house and kidnap her sidekick! hehehe anywayz enough on that..

SMELLY

2008-03-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

Just finished work, and i tottaly smell BAD.. i smell lyk lard mixed wid chicken, mixed wid eek i dunno wat..HAHA yeah i want the whole world to noe that i smell so bad that if you come at least one feet away from me you'll faint or maybe DIE...

hmm me so so so tiered, OMG SO JELOUSE OS SHARMAINE!! she got her new sidekick phone and i WANT it 2!! if someone don't give it to me now i'll bash YOU!! poo! i also want a camera and a laptop and steven lol and alot of other things!!!!! bleh i'm such an ungreatful child!! i mean think of the children in Africa hehehe

WEEKEND

2008-03-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

thank the lord it's the weekend!! hehe :)

finally a time off from everyone...not to say that i hate being with my fwends but i think we all need to take a break from one another once in a while..

hmm got work this morning, bloody 9 hours shift!! oh wells i need the money if i wanna buy meself a new camera and laptop^^

aww miss my KFC pplz heheh..yeah that's right i work at KFC..hmmm i really miss packing chicken and going all psycho? hehe yeah i am pretty weird!! but it's a bum that my 2 fav KFC buddies aren't workin 2day :( soo yeah i'm going to have apretty boringgg day without mandy and jaco..

watching american dragon right now..so bored..waiting for the time to pass...lalalalala
hmm oh wellz i better go eat my breakfast before it gets cold :S

THE GREAT DEPRESSION

2008-03-28T01:11:00.000-07:00

My week has started of bad to worst now..seriously this past week has been so emotional and extremely DEPRESSING for me and every1 i love or loved..

I've never been this sad or down in my life before and i seriously do not like it at all! hmm how i wished everything could go back to the way it was, but i know deep deep down inside, no matter how hard i wish or pray it will never be the same again and that really rips my heart!

I thought i knew my friends from back to front and inside out, i thought that i could trust my friends with my life, but all to soon i found out that i am so damn WRONG!

Since i was little my mum always said "No matter how well you know a person, the only person you can really trust is yourself and of course God", but i never believed her because i never really knew how mean a person could get until now.. right now i can't trust anyone anymore, to many lying and backstabing..

this week has really drained me so much, everynight i keep thinking about past memories and it saddens me so much...but maybe someday we can all forgive and forget...someday..

My head is hurting soo much right now from all this that i'm probebly going to explode soon...but really i want this to end so i just wanted to say one last thing even if it does make me sound like a hypocrite!

I LOVE EVERYONE OF MY FRIENDS NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE TO ME, SINCE I'VE NEVER HAD BROTHERS OR SISTERS BEFORE I FEEL THAT YOU GUYZ ARE THAT, EVEN THOUGH SOME OF YOU HAVE HURT ME SO BAD I COULD NEVER BE ANGRY AT YOU FOREVER!! SO PLEASE NO MORE OF THIS, I'M TIERED JUST FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER, I MEAN THERE'S ALWAYS 2 SIDES OF THE STORY AND I SAY THAT BOTH PARTIES ARE WRONG IN SOME WAY...it's true what some of you say that christians don't lie, or backstab, or swear but as a christian we should forgive each other just like jesus died on the cross for us...

some of you may say i'm weak for doing this, but i GIVE UP! i truely GIVE UP

2 FACE ALL THE WAY

2008-03-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT ME OR MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT!!
HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TWIST THE TRUTH, TO MAKE EVERYONE SYMPATHISE YOU!
HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK!!
HOW DARE YOU TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SLAVES!!

You think you're always right about anything and EVERYTHING, you think that everything has to go your way or no way at all!!

Have you ever thought about anyone else besides yourself these few months or EVER??
always getting yourself into other pepoles buisinesses and always lecturing us on what is right and what is wrong, while deep inside you're a doing the same thing!!

I can't believe i ever trusted you! i mean what happened? you were soo nice in the beggining, always knew how to make me feel better! made me laugh, boost up my confidence, but all along you were that person who was beating me down who was making me cry on the inside who was shattering my confidence! how could you?

You said once that "if you were really my friend, you would exept me for who i am!" well if "who" you are is a BACKSTABING, TWO-FACED, LYING BITCH, i'm sorry but i guesse i can never be your "friend" if i ever was your friend..

DAMN! still can't believe that i thought u were nice, now i've really seen you're true colours and they are DEFFINITLY aint pretty colours!! wish i never ever had seen ur true-side! SWEET ON THE OUTSIDE BITTER ON THE OUTSIDE

BTW u always say you're to sick to go to school and shyt, missing out on almost every week of school! what is this!?! do you not appreciate your parents for giving you the chance to get a good education? have you ever thought about the children who are living in the 3rd world countries who would give anything 2 go to school!?! might as well drop out of school and give the bloody money to them, at least they'll appriciate it!! and don't you try to make excuses about ur "illness", i mean if you really cared about ur education you wouldn't skip the days you''ve missed school, and besides if it's the holidays it seems you can always make it!!

but the thing that breaks my heart is that no there is no more JE SAH SEC MAK..
no more fun, no more happy memories, no more laughing till my tummy hurts!!
how i sumtyms regret having my b'day...

thanx, thanx for everything you've done ...

ADDICTED 2 everything?

2008-03-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

LOL random blog title..anywayz..

Tomorow's Eunike's B'day party..o0o0o hope i can GO!!! coz thanx to a certain someone (MITCHELL) they kept calling me after i specificly told them not to, so now my mummy got pissy at me and threatened that i can't go to her b'day :( hmmpphh T_T

today had intro calc test which was alright i guess..omg so dreding thursday coz we get our term report back and i'm so positive i'm getting lyk F's and D's for every subject i have besides Career's and Enterprise which is SHYT!!

Felling depressed and HAPPY? weired..prob coz i keep repeating the song "Rainbow" which i think has a pretty sad melody :(

so yeah right now i am ADDICTED to everything hmmm ^^

OMG i just remembered all the geography pplz are going on an excursion tommorw? i think, NOOOOOOO than means more than half of our azn group r going 2 disappear and have an extremely great tym? omg LONER again T_T oh wellz...

ADDICTED 2 RAINBOW

2008-03-17T02:57:00.000-07:00

So some1 or sumthing made me addicted to this song..anywayz i found an english translation 2 dis song...so0o0 i'm vewy vewy HAPPY^^

Na li you cai hong gao su wo
Tell me where the rainbow is

Neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo
Could you still give me back my wish

Wei shen me tian zhe me an jing
Why is the sky so silent?

Suo you de yun dou pao dao wo zhe li
All of the clouds are running to me

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
I could not see your smile, how can I sleep well

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your silhouette is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Assuming I'm the last to understand

RIP Mr. Z

2008-03-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

omg yesterday i heard the most shocking and depressing news this year!!
my year 7 teacher Mr Z died :(
omg when i heard it i was so0o0o SAD it was lyk WOAH!!!
he was an incredible teacher and i'm sure he was a great father + husband!!
he was fun and knew how to make people laugh!!

i'm going to dedicate this post for him!!

Dear Mr Z,
i hope you can read this all the way up in heaven because i just wanted to tell you how great of a guy you are!
a wonderful and dedicated teacher but not only that you were an awsome friend and GREAT listner.
i may have not known you for that long but for the years i've known you, you have been an awsome teacher!!
everyone from orana catholic primary school will MISS YOU VERY MUCH and we hope that you are in a better place :)

we'll MISS YOU greatly!!

Rest In Peace Mr. Z :( <3

No CHANGE for me :(

2008-03-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

ARGHHH so pissed right now!!!
i really wanted to change my subjects from Human Bio to Bio and from CnE to Econs
BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT mrs BIG BUTT said i shouldn't coz blah blah..pointless reasons..

so now i'm stuck with my sad, lonely and depressing subjects :(

IT"S RAINING

2008-03-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

omg kinda gayish but so HAWWWWWTTTT!!!

Fun Day with JE SAH SEC MaK

2008-03-10T18:10:00.000-07:00

Saturday went out with JE SAH SEC MaK (excluding Angie)
In the morning shar, sam and kris went to mitchell's house for self studying..
i met up with them at around oneish at garbo then we took the bus to the city
When we arrived we met up with Vanessa and then Shar took us to the library to see her boy toy hehe..
while shar and her MAN went off to go take lovey dovey neoprints the rest decided to stay in the library cafateria

after we all went to icey ice..talked a while then timezone to take neoprints^^

and mitch and vanessa started to tell yo mama jokes which was EXTREMELY funaay i almost suffocated AGAIN!!!

After city we all went to Mitch house where we all went crazy and as shar says "HOUSING" (clubing but in a house^^)

toilet momments

pretayy

HOUSING wo0o0

YEA the rumours were right...i am PREGNANT ROFL^^

HELP ME

2008-03-06T22:10:00.002-08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHH tomorrow i have a frikin human bio and physics test!!

SOS!!

omg i think i'm going to die tomorrow, i mean human bio is ok just memorising things but PHYSICS!! I really think that physics means DEATH..hmmphh last test i got 18% this test i'm sure i'm going to get lyk 0%

oh wells tomorrow i shall go study with chan and absorb his knowledge (Quote from Mitchell)...so sleepy but must keep on STUDYING...*YAWNS*

Physics=DEATH

2008-03-04T23:39:00.000-08:00

Todays started of ok besides the fact i had to wake up 6am in the morning to do my chemistry homework wich wasn't even due today!! T_T

school was normal just the usual things...but when it came to physics though it felt like i was in HELL..it was extremly HARD and i frikin got 18% for my bloddy test!!! and not just that, when MR.C was trying to explain the answers to us he tottaly stuffed it up making it even more CONFUSING -.- omg i so0o0o wish i didn't have to do PHYSICS T_T so advice to anyone who are planning to do physics...JUST DON'T DO IT, UNLESS YOU KNOW YOU'LL GET A FRIKIN AWSOME TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lunch..burned a few calories because of mitchell and elain inpersonating salt..or was it pepper..

After school me, Liz, Melissa and Ivy were waiting for the bus when andrew an jian popped up..
so0o0o we asians + Liz took da bus together and andrew and melissa were trying to teach me mandarin, i really suck but they both offered to teach me at 50 bucks per hour..hmmm
so all of them started to speak in manderin but silly me didn't know how to so i just sat there with Liz spacing out...

hmm i have work soon..YAY i get 2 see Natalia and Cairo my 2 psycho byatches :)

HIGHLIGHTS of this MONTH

2008-03-04T22:30:00.001-08:00

YAY so this is my 1st time ever blogging woah so fun yeah?
ehe some pplz may think i'm a women of few words but in acctual fact i have so MANY things to say aye!!

So anywayz i shall thank Sharmaine n Mitchell for making me want 2 have a blog...
and BTW yeah i noe..."sharmaine ALWAYS start new trends...example BLOGGING " hehe

Anywayz..i would have to say 2008 has been a pretty awsome year so far, i mean i've met new friends, met new pepoles, did new things and i'm so greatful for my new favourtist group in the whole wide world!!

Since i started my blog late i shall name all the highlights of my reasonably interesting life..

First couple of weeks of school was pretty much ordinary besides the fact that i'm in year 11 now and that i get a gigantic amount of homework everyday but besides that it was pretty much the same as last year...but then somthing happened!!

Soo my b'day was lyk in January right.. but i wanted 2 have a b'day party even tho it was lyk 2wards the end of feb so i insisted my frends that i must have a b'day party..anywho i invited you know my lil group of girly girls^^ plus mitch lol expecting my party would be fun but ordinary...but i was gonna be wrong aye! a couple of days before my party Angi and Sam decided to go and invite Kenneth, Jian and Andrew to, i was like omg no0o0 they don't even know me!! but still they asked them, they even begged them!! hmm LONG story short they came in the end..

Saturday came and i was so damn exited about going karaoke n bubble tea, i still had doubts on who was coming 2 my b'day, but 2 my suprise most of them came exept for mellisa :( hehe everything started off awkward n dull but then jian revealed something that would change everything..ALCOHOL hahaha -.- anywayz Me+Alcohol=CRAZY, HYPER, PSYCHO B*TCH..Sharmain+Alcohol=HYPER, CRAZY, SILLY GIRL...Jian+Alcohol=SINGING MACHINE, SEX MACHINE? lol and PASSING OUT? well lets just say dat the drink liven up the partayyy..
ANYWAYS..kenny met his murdoch frends n decided 2 crash in and sum of his guyz hooked up wid sum of my gurlss and so yeah it was a pretty crazy night but it was heaps FUN!!!

After the party me, shar, mitch, elain, hana, eunike, vanessa, andrew, kenny, jasmine, chen and sam hanged outside Utopia and started 2 take silli photos when a clever gurl said "OMG we should so do this like every MONTH!" (tnx shar)

so from that day on my life has been extremely FUN, HAPPY n exiting..^^

After that sam was like "we should make a group name" and so she did, SOO our group name is

Jian
Elain

Sam
Andrew
Hana

Shar
Eunke
Claudia

Mitchell
Angie
Kenneth

Last saturday JE SAH SEC MAK decided 2 go UTOPIA again but onli J SA C MAK went to da city and the rest met up at UTOPIA...took the bus there and i met up wid Natalia n her cuz and then da guyz decided to go to POT BLACK..Jian, Kenny, Andrew, Sam and Angie decided to play pool but me and Mitch just watched, after we went to timezone where sam and angie battled on air hockey again and then battled on the BBall thingy..funnay..

When we decided we had enough of the city we took the train 2 bullcreek stn where i started getting cramps!! i felt like i was dying, but luckily sam and angie was there to be my pillow to squeeze HAHA but mitch was another story..he made me almost sufforcate of laughter!! ANYWAYZ blah blah blah and we got stranded in garbo because a certain someone (SAMMANTHA!!!) made us go on the wrong bus, so we had to take a taxi to UTOPIA

when we got there, there were some tears because i invited someone to come and since i was late they left and so i became a wreck ball soo he decided that he would come back after all YAY lol..
KARAOKEING somemore then met peoples i haven't met for AGES!!! LYDIA, STEPHANIE, REINHEART, MARCEL!!! woah so happy man!! indo frends^^ then i met new and familiar faces too which was so frikin AWSOME!!!

After that we hanged out in the park again and started 2 lyk have a sub group where we went off with one or two pepoles for private time...

anywayz so many other things that happened but there's already to many things that i've written so0o0oo i'll just stop right there!!

hmm hope i shall do more CRAZY but FUN things wid the peoples who i LOVE!! I luv JE SAH SEC MAK <3

well i'm off to bed have school tomorrow..OMG!!! CHEMISTRY HW DUE TOMORROW!! SHYT!!!